The lovers glance longingly at each other in the darkly lit street, and for a fleeting moment they entertain the possibility of throwing caution to the wind to be together, consequences be damned. “Finally,” I say to myself, leaning forward on my IMAX auditorioum seat, “this busy, joyless thing is showing signs of life.”
Then some nondescript baddies interrupt this tender tête-à-tête for yet another listless rumble, and I slump back down in dismay and resignation.
(Front row) Chadwick Boseman, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson.
Look, it's no secret that I don't think too highly of what the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been doing to the superhero genre, which is to say, reshape it into a tightly controlled mold where all the pieces fit together with mechanical efficiency.
But there I go again, walking into the multiplex every time the studio releases a new supersized adventure, in the (stubbornly naïve) hope that the latest product will offer something that subverts or at least tweaks the tried-and-true pattern that draws throngs of moviegoers, Marvel junkies and casual audiences alike, into theaters like a giant magnet.
“Avengers: Infinity War,” the third big screen outing in this series (fourth if you count the in-name-only Captain America” sequel “Civil War”), takes everything that holds this franchise back from developing something genuinely distinctive, then amplifies it times a hundred. It wields the Marvel formula like a blunt object to batter dissenters like yours truly in order to conjure up a vortex of stultifying sameness.
Josh Brolin.
A series-hopping jaunt across the universe should be a playground of creativity and vitality, but despite various character mashups and frequent changes in setting, directors Joe and Anthony Russo's balancing act only works as a triumph of logistics, a smorgasbord of tired tropes and shrug-inducing narrative turns that rewards viewers who make it to the finish line with what amounts to a glorified trailer promising more of the same, and perhaps some more answers, this time next year.
Earlier MCU entries had planted seeds of this ostensibly climactic showdown between the photogenic crew assembled by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and Thanos (Josh Brolin), a purple-hued, square-jawed extraterrestrial with superhuman strength and a yen for galactic domination. So why is the long-awaited showdown such a relentlessly mediocre slog?
I'll do my best to keep this critique as spoiler-free as possible, but several story elements will be discussed here (or at least alluded to), so if you haven't yet subjected yourself to Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige's tsunami of uninspired fanboy catnip, proceed with caution.
Robert Downey Jr.
Let's just say things start off on the wrong foot, with a sequence in outer space that kills what limited goodwill New Zealand filmmaker Taika Waititi had amassed last fall in “Thor: Ragnarok.” That franchise entry poked fun at the Marvel formula while simultaneously indulging in it, but it lightened things up for the Asgardian god played by Chris Hemsworth in genial and disarming ways. By contrast, “Infinity War's” opening moments act like a course correction for fans who thought “Ragnarok” was too goofy and irreverent for its own good.
The Russos then take viewers to Earth, where Thanos' minions, er, Commandants, headed by gray-skinned charlatan-pastor Ebony Maw (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor) square off against Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), aka Iron Man, Dr. Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) and Peter Parker (Tom Holland), aka Spider-Man, in New York City. It's a rumble that thankfully keeps a tight grip on the destruction porn but nevertheless remains headache-inducing.
Meanwhile, Thor crosses paths with the Guardians of the Galaxy, those obnoxious space mercenaries for hire whose astonishingly well-regarded exploits tend to set my teeth on edge. This time, they split off in order to track down Thanos, in order to prevent him from acquiring the remaining Infinity Stones he needs to become the most powerful being in the universe. (Or something like that. I was too busy being grateful for the Guardians' more limited screen time, which, even as it reduces most “Infinity War” characters to pieces on an elaborate, CGI-infested chess board, also prevents the wisecracking furball voiced by Bradley Cooper and his compadres from wearing out their welcome as usual.)
Chris Pratt, Vin Diesel, Zoe Saldana, Pom Klementieff, Bradley Cooper, Dave Bautista.
Infinity what, you ask? These Day-Glo colored precious gems enable those who acquire them control over a specific element: Mind, Soul, Space, Power, Time and Reality. In other words, it lets that individual play Ultimate Deity. It's a rather ambitious concept with myriad possibilities … which makes the earthbound way the Russos depict their usage all the more disheartening.
Moreover, screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, who, it must be said, penned Michael Bay's “Pain & Gain” in addition to writing the MCU Captain America movies, attempt to depict Thanos as a tortured antagonist, a destroyer of worlds with Psych 101 hangups. But what is the point, exactly? Thanos ought to be an unstoppable force of evil, not a reluctant agent of obliteration. It may have looked nuanced on the page, but as Brolin portrays him, this villain becomes more dull and generic the more powerful he becomes. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the filmmakers' intent.
Sadder still is how wooden Chris Evans' Captain America is this time around. The character's Boy Scout idealism, always a tonic for us older fans, has all but vanished in the wake of the domestic squabble that fueled the Russos' impersonal, wildly overpraised “Civil War.” What remains is stiff, one-note leadership, bolstered by a bearish beard. Evans' new look isn't unappealing, but I'd be lying if I said I don't miss the more clean-cut Cap with a more ironclad moral compass. To say Evans phoned it in would be an insult to telecommunications devices everywhere.
Chris Hemsworth.
Speaking of iron, Downey is slightly less by-the-numbers than his forgettable turn in last summer's “Spider-Man Homecoming,” but like Evans, you sense the actor is already looking for a way out of this merry-go-round. In contrast to the two big headliners, Cumberbatch and Holland appear to be more invested in the carefully structured but limp goings-on than most of his co-stars, even though in terms of more recent Marvel franchises, Doctor Strange >>> the new Spider-Man. As for the cast of the (slightly overrated but still worthwhile) “Black Panther,” they're mostly relegated to the sidelines.
Which brings me back to the supporting players who provide this otherwise punishing “Infinity War” with its all-too-brief bright spots. Formerly villainous mutant Wanda Maximoff, aka Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) and Vision (Paul Bettany), a powerful android with homo sapiens tendencies, have begun seeing each other on the down low. The simple yet potent conflict that develops as the love birds, first introduced by the MCU in the flawed but reasonably entertaining “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” mull over the possibility of a life together outside of the superhero spotlight, hints at the film that could have been without behind-the-scenes forces hellbent on turning this overstuffed jalopy into the biggest Marvel vehicle ever manufactured.
But if this latest epistle in Feige's New Testament shows anything, is that bigger doesn't necessarily mean better. A larger, IMAX camera-assisted scope is all for naught when the destination is a cliffhanger that feels at once cumbersome and weightless. These characters may have once given us reason to root for them, but in this context, they're little more than brands jostling for screen time, stick figures in an overlong studio product that refuses to rock the boat so as to more effectively safeguard Disney stockholders' investment.
Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany.
“Infinity War” is the opposite of fun. It's a Frankenstein monster of gargantuan proportions that passes off lame one-liners as moments of levity, a cash-sucking black hole tasked with absorbing every ounce of joy from the screen. Why champion a movie for being able to assemble so many sparts parts when most of those pieces are space junk? But I suppose it's par for the course, for what is the Marvel Borg collective if not a celebration of uniformity? Excuse me for asking this comic book-based “Emperor's New Clothes” to aim higher.
"Avengers: Infinity War" is playing at major multiplexes and IMAX throughout Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties.
